A Brief Grief Study

By: Ty Horton

February 7, 2026

Grief is a really hard thing that most people will feel. Most people think about the 5 stages of grief, but healing from grief doesn’t quite feel like it's going in the order that it’s supposed to. What most don’t know is that the study of grief was done on those that are leaving and not those left behind. 

One of the first movies I watched portraying grief was My Girl directed by Howard Zieff. Spoilers ahead. There are a few people who the main character, Vada, mourns throughout the movie. Her father runs a funeral parlor and she reads the paperwork of the dead that the father works on. She mourns not only the loss of her mother, but she also mourns her grandma who has Alzheimer's and is losing parts of herself every day. The next character is Thomas J, Vada’s best friend. In the movie, he goes to find something and ends up passing away at the young age of 11. The most heart breaking scene is Vada at Thomas J’s funeral. It’s heart breaking and tragic, the despair and desperation in the young girl’s voice. There’s a scene with Vada’s dad and Thomas J’s mom where she says a line that I feel is a good representation of grief, “Some day I think I’ll be okay, others, well I have to force myself even to get out of bed. I know it’s crazy, but sometimes I think he’s just away at summer camp.” Many accounts describe that same feeling.

I had a talk with the school psychologist and wellness center leader and we had a conversation. I made a metaphor that I feel is the best way to explain grief. Grief is like a color wheel, when you’re on it you can feel a variety of ways (colors) at different intensities, (saturation) but it can be hard to explain the whirlwind of emotions or lack of emotions to someone who has never experienced grief. Grief in my experience feels like every emotion and not enough emotion all at once. It doesn’t feel the same from passing to passing. Grief doesn’t get better but it gets a bit less wholly consuming.

The most important thing to know is grief has no right or wrong, there is no black and white, there is one one way that fits all. Grief tends to feel like a hurricane in a vintage China shop. You feel like you’re alone to pick up all the sharp painful pieces. It’s messy and hard to navigate, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you need help, there are hundreds of resources, including Ms. Duthoit.